ruang....

aku pertama jatuh cinta dengan dia,
menjalin cinta dengan seseorang yang lain,

dan denganmu,
denganmu aku jatuh cinta dan tanpa sadar telah menjalinnya
kau datang bukan karena kuminta,
menyusup masuk ke hidupku dan dengan lancang menawarkan tempat untukku bersandar

hei tuan sempurna,
berhenti memanggilku pengecut
berhenti mengatakan aku membutuhkanmu,
berhenti bersikap terlalu percaya diri,
karena aku telah benar-benar jatuh padamu
kau berhasil,
aku mencintaimu,bodoh!

kau pikir siapa dirimu?
memaksaku masuk ke dalam ruang di hatimu yang kau bilang seluas padang rumput,
yang rumputnya kau tanam sendiri untukku bermain,
dan kini ketika aku tahu aku terkurung tanpa tahu jalan keluar,
ketika aku justru menikmati ketersesatanku disana,
mata tajammu memohon sesuatu...
kau memintaku untuk tetap tersesat dan menunggumu menemukanku 2 tahun lagi.

hah!
2 tahun,
antara aku,kau,dan ruang padang rumputmu dibayang-bayangi gemerlapnya kota Melbourne!
kau pikir aku sehebat itu?
sudah kubilang dari awal,
jangan terlalu percaya diri,
jangan merasa kau yang paling mengenalku,
sudah kuingatkan yang kubalas tak bisa sebanyak yang kau tawarkan

memangnya mudah menatapmu seperti saat ini ketika aku tahu hanya tinggal beberapa bulan saja waktuku melakukannya?
ketika 2 tahun waktu yang harus kulewati untuk menikmati senyummu lagi?
ketika tatapanmu kadang mengisyaratkan,
"jangan lupakan pertama kali kita bertemu."

dan saat-saat ketika aku ingat ucapan-ucapanmu,seperti:
"hei, aku bisa bernyanyi lho!tapi kurang jago dengan gitar.mau dengar?"
atau,
"aku tahu kau tidak suka es krim buah. aku juga tahu kau tidak suka diperhatikan."
dan,
"since you call me monkey, i'll call you koala then. because you like sleeping."
atau yang kadang dengan sedikit berteriak,
"wake up sleeping beautyyy....!!"

dan yang paling tak bisa kulupakan,
"don't say loving me is wrong.and if it is, please keep being wrong."
bagaimana bisa?
bagaimana caraku beradaptasi lagi?
tidak semua hal berjalan sesuai kehendakmu tau...

jika cinta seindah yang kau ceritakan,
berarti ada bagian yang kau lewatkan, sayang...............

amazing September......

dearest September....
can you stay a little longer?
huhuhuuuuuu.............
gasp! september will be over, soon !

i truthfully love september
there's a lot of things happen on september
and mostly about happiness...
banyak hal-hal baru yang gw temukan(dan menyenangkan),
di bulan ini gw menyadari hadirnya orang-orang yang sangat peduli dan sayang sama gw,
dan sejuta kejadian yang membawa gw ke arah yang positif

di bulan cantik ini juga banyak keluarga dan teman-teman dekat gw yang berulang tahun
my beloved father, my brother, my uncle, my cousins, and some of my friends such as renata, phillip, andaru and many more
and, umm... and me as well.
hahaha...my birthday is also on september

i used to think that birthday wasn't that special
for me,it was just the day when i knew i grew older
but now, i don't think that way
someone, who has become so important to me,
changed my mind
hmmm.............
i still remember (very clearly) that day
hari dimana gw merasa benar-benar ISTIMEWA.
di penghujung malam tanggal 3 september,
dimana gw sedang terlelap di alam mimpi, hingga gw terbangun karena sms yang ternyata dari Andaru mengucapkan selamat ultah.
tepat pukul 12.01
wah! gw ultah! si andaru sang pengirim pertama menyadarkan gw bahwa gw resmi tambah tua.
disusul 2 sms lain dari phillip dan ata.
senangnya...........!
masih ada yang inget ultah gw !
gw pun melanjutkan tidur
dan kira-kira jam 12.10, hp gw bunyi lagi
gw angkat dengan malas,

gw :" halo?"
si penelpon :"hey, wake up sleeping beauty!"
gw :"who's this?"
si penelpon :"i'm your prince who has to wake you up!"
gw :" argh, monkey! it's not even funny to joke around this hour!"
monkey :"(laugh) can you go out for a while? but don't make any noise."
gw :"what for?? are you crazy?"
monkey :"just go.."

klik! telepon ditutup.
didorong rasa penasaran gw pun keluar diam2 dari rumah.
dan pas gw buka pager, mulut gw nganga lama banget karena kaget.
di depan rumah gw ada dia --> monkey berdiri memegang satu kue lengkap dengan topi kerucut, lalu ada satu anak kecil yang ternyata adeknya, lagi nyalain banyak lilin
gw menghampiri mereka perlahan masih terkaget-kaget.

lalu adeknya--> adrian bilang :
"selamat ultah calon kakak ipar-ku...........!"
lalu monkey :
"happy birthday, sleeping beauty"
gw gak bisa ngomong apa2 dan berakhir dengan mata berkaca-kaca.
gw terharu!!
bayangin ada 2 makhluk tengah malem bela-belain ke rumah gw cuma buat ngucapin selamet ultah.
gw pun benar2 berakhir menangis dan memeluk adrian
gw gak bisa mengekspresikan rasa terima kasih gw.
jadilah malam itu gw menangis haru karena rasa senang tak terhingga dan melewatkan malam pergantian umur gw dengan mereka, meskipun cuma setengah jam dan mereka pulang.
dan gw gak bisa tidur lagi karena masih shock dan terlalu seneng.

satu hal yang gw inget :
i blew those candles with him and wish there's no end for september and i'll be by his side forever!.....

teacher??????

ok, wanna hear my new story?
hehe...
oh, no smile this time
no laughing, no fun, NOTHING!
you'll find out the reason why, soon!

this is the worst subject i've ever got
i've never been this mad with a teacher
do you know the reason??
simple!
it's just because he's not good enough to be A TEACHER!
even until now, i still don't get the aim and the benefits of learning this subject
how frustrating !

this subject is.........HIGHER LEARNING
point this: HIGHER !!
you provide poor teachers and you said you give us HIGHER LEARNING??!
what the hell !
he said he's an english teacher but he doesn't even know the letters of word "laugh"
did you know what this idiot wrote?
he wrote "LOUGH" instead of LAUGH !(it's not the only example!)
and yesterday he taught us about using S/ES for he,she,it as the subjects
how dare he teaches us about that if he keep saying "IT MEAN" ??!!!
gosh!

i'm a student who really wants to study well, and i'm in a learning process
and you give me such a teacher?!!
i have a cousin who is in kindergarten and he gets a better english education!

kelas 3, uhuy!

waduh, agak telat ya baru sekarang ngomongin soal kenaikan kelas gw, hahahahahaha
sorry, baru sempet.
hey,hey! should i be happy?
kelas 3 getoo!
tp gw biasa aja tuh.
yaiyalah, lo kira enak?!
there's a lot to do!
sekarang aja udah ada intensif tiap sabtu, blom lagi gw les bimbel, trus ujian2 laen yang masih menanti, lalu try out. aaaaaaaaaahhhh!
males gak lo? hahahahaha
but there's nothing i can do
siap gak siap, mau gak mau,
i wanna give my best!
no, i'm giving my best!!

dan soal kelas,
hmmm........hmmmm.......hmmmmm........!
hha, gitu deh, gak pernah sesuai harapan gw
ada aja dah hal2 di luar dugaan
tau ah gelap! agak males gw bahasnya
hohohoho
wali kelasnya, ya......bolehlah.......
teman sebangkunya, alhamdulillah masih temen gw juga
teman2 lainnya, so far so good lah
pelajarannya, ya... masih bisa dicerna

what's so special being the highest grade-student??
i can't even use my seniority
what i can hear are just orders to study harder
there are no excuses for bad scores
my only reason to get through this is:
i want to be a college student !
woohooo........
sounds great!

pray for me guys!
hahaha...
need your supports!
GOD BLESS!

dia curi hatiku (lagi)............?

oh no !
no....no.....no.....!
HE'S BACK!!!
voldemort! woops...!
no,it's not about voldemort
it's about someone else
someone from the past
someone who made me turn into a fool when i saw him,
someone who has the greatest smile ever!
and someone who makes MONKEY can't stop jumping and biting (what?!!)
hahhaha
no, of course not! i meant he gets crazily upset when i show my adoration to this person
um...well, easy Monkey, you're still the one in my heart
wuiwiwiwiii.............

and now he's back
after all this time i've been through
He's BACK! He's BACK!! He's BACK.........!!!
Oh my lord!
he's back and he steals my heart (again!)
all the memories,
his smile, his eyes, his kindness, his......
oh jeez......!!
i turn crazy again
i know i shouldn't be like this
but,but i can't help it!
i can't help my enthusiasm about this GUY!
Mm...hellooo....
he's damn gorgeous!
oh, sorry Monkey, you're much more gorgeous, of course
(just remember that,ok?)
what else can i say??
THIS GUY REALLY IS SOMETHING !!
(keep that in mind!)

now one thing that i should do is:
DON'T EVER LET MONKEY READ THIS!
Huwaaaaauuh............

memories

a few years have passed
a lot of things happened
so many people came and left
i can see how things changed in my life
how people around me transformed into many characters
even my family changed a bit
my friends all look a bit different to me
i can't tell
i can't tell why i'm still the same
nothing changed
everyone's moving forward,
walk around and keep moving
i'm the only one who stop
i'm the only one who stay still
i'm just watching them in silence
all i can hear is my own heartbeat
i can't feel what they feel
i can't move as fast as they do
i can't reach what they hold together
now i feel like i'm left behind
i cry out bitter tears
i realize one thing
i miss them
i miss all of them
i miss every single moment i spent with them
i wish that they'd come back
i miss everyone
i miss my friends,my family, i miss you-know-who
and even i miss.......i miss.........
um.....let's say my ex-spidey
yes, i miss spidey toobut i know he'll never come back again
spidey WILL NOT come back to me
i heard that he's got the new MJ

uh...somebody, somebody rescue me !!!

hi MJ !

i was watching spiderman last night (for million times,of course)
and i rememberred that i was always wanting to be like MJ
or to be 'her', i meant
isn't it fun having a superhero by your side?
having a superhuman who will always be there when you're in danger
someone who isn't even afraid risking his life to save you
well, he does this to everyone actually
MJ is not the only one whose life he saved
but still,she's the one he loves
it's just she doesn't know that

i was wondering, if i were MJ, who'll be my spidey then?
hahahaha.......
it's ridiculous, but there was someone came on my mind
someone......... who's just like Peter Parker
he looks weak,but he's special
you know that when you're looking at his eyes,he's not just an ordinary person
there's something great on him
i don't know what makes me think this way
it's just, i'm not really sure anymore
i'm not that sure if he's (still) my spidey, my spiderman

oh well,now that i'm not really sure anymore,
there's another question in my head
'why must MJ? why isn't it Lois Lane?
why must spiderman? what's wrong with Superman? or...Batman?'
is it about me who want to be MJ, or is it because i want him to be the SPIDERMAN??

aku disini

aku disini
di tempat dimana aku masih mencintai orang yang sama
disini
dimana aku menemukan belahan jiwaku yang baru dan mulai sulit mencari belahan jiwaku yang lama
disini
di waktu yang berbeda,keadaan yang berbeda,dengan orang-orang yang berbeda, dan aku yang tetap sama
disini
dimana aku menyadari bahwa aku mungkin bukanlah lagi penyebab seseorang merasa terluka
dimana aku merasa bahagia atasnya,
dimana aku ingin dia tahu bahwa akupun menyayanginya,hanya saja dengan cara yang berbeda

aku hanya tidak ingin menjadi alasan sakit hatinya selama ini
aku tau rasanya,
aku tau yang dia rasakan,
aku tau..........
akupun sama
untuk seseorang senaif dia,
tak pernah sedikit pun terbayang di benakku....

untuknya,
berbahagialah !
berbahagialah untukku,
inilah yang terbaik untuk dijalani

janjiku oh janjiku....................

wahh..........
banyak banget sarang laba-laba di blog gw!!
ck..ck..ck...
kemana sih penghuninya?
hahahahaha
maaf ya gak bisa menepati janji buat rajin-rajin nge-blog, abis internet di rumah gw lemot gila,
dan gw males banget sering2 ke warnet, ntar dikira jatuh cinta sama abang warnetnya!
wahahahaha..........
nih aj gw nge-blog di sekolah.
tapi gw akan berusaha untuk nge-blog lagi deh, biarpun gak serajin dulu....

hmmmm.........
di sekolah gw ada tugas buat bikin drama
kelompok gw bikin drama tentang SAMIRAH
dan gw yang jadi SAMIRAH!
jadi apa??
SAMIRAH!
apa?
SAMIRAH
sekali lagi, SAMIRAH!!
yak,introducing SAMIRAH si gadis desa baik hati nan lugu,
cerdas dan berkemauan keras.
huehehehehe............
ini jadi salah satu alasan kenapa gw jarang nge-blog,
bikin naskah dramanya panjaaaaaaaaaaannngggg.......
jadi menyita waktu.
untunglah sudah selesai.
doakan semoga pentasnya lancar ya?!
ya sudahlah, kita tinggalkan dulu si samirah,
biarkan dia mengejar cita-citanya.


tentang hal lain,
hmmm....
ya,gw harus narik napas dulu.
ini tentang dia.
bukan, bukan lagi tentang dia
Ini tentang gw sendiri.
gw PULIH...
hm,pulih.
keadaan sudah jauh lebih baik sekarang
luka-luka hati mulai mengering.
sekarang gw bisa tau apa itu tertawa yang sebenarnya,
bahwa bahagia ternyata gak hanya gw dapet dari dia,
dan bukan dia satu-satunya yang gw sayang.
masih banyak orang-orang terdekat yang ternyata sangat gw sayang..
mungkin benar kalau waktu bisa mengubah keadaan.
tapi kayaknya gw gak yakin dengan hal ini.
ada hal lain yang lebih berperan.
entah apa itu.

tapi gw pulih,
bukan sembuh.
atau tepatnya gw belum sembuh.
yah, memang susah ya..
hahaha
adakah seseorang disana yang akan datang menyembuhkan sisa lukanya??............